Rime and Rhyme

 

Of Rime and Rhyme

 

I thought the cold suited me. For a while the shelling seemed to subside. The pain lessened..And then it got very cold.

My left arm is essentially useless now. I tried to play my bass tonight... I had to literally cry. I was a damn good bass player once. I was.

 

I want to set goals... I can't really see a reason to try and steer any course. I feel as if I am locked at the dock and can not cast away for a new adventure just now...

 

Even the smallest of goals seems to be denied to me. Such as: I would like to have a phone, so I could call contacts, so I could get some work, so I could begin heading toward a decent living again,so I could get a car, so I could build a company, so I could employ the best, so I could put out great product, so I could make some money and diversify the company, so I could sell the company and retire in luxury...

 

But I can't get a phone.

 

In any event..I see the Dr again on the 19th. That's 75 miles away...In the Big City. Call it Mt Pilot.

Last blood tests say I'm healthy as an ox in heat. Than why is my arm not working? Why do my screams of pain keep the whole household up at night?  Why does a thing that looks like a chestburster push from my stomach at night?

 

Why can I not hold the one I love?

 

For what it's worth: I guess I have abandonment issues.

 

In the meantime here is a random picture of a pillow.